Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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