She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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