I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
this will be a night to untag.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
