So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Text me some of your sweat
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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