morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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