dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
