Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Randomize
