I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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