I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Just puked most of my soul out..
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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