Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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