if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
nutella sex= disaster
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
