Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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