i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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