before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
