Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Your dad touched me again.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
