so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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