WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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