Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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