Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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