Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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