i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
you never un-have a 4some
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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