I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
