She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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