I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
