bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
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