I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
