girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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