She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Bring me that man meat
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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