I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
