HIV tests are more positive than that guy
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
