I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My life is pants optional.
You don't make any sense
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