When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
