I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
did you just send me my own nude
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I need water and some morals
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
