You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
