I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i love accidental penises.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize