Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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