she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize