Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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