Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
