UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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