Sponge bath it is.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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