i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
