who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Life without a bra equals bliss.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
