one two three fourrrrnication!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
