Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
