so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
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Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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