shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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