so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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