I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you inspire me to be a worse person
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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