On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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