yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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