what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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