I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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