he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
