But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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