While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Randomize