is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
