when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
