thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
