May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
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We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
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and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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