He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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