my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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