So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
