am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
