yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
