Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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