Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
