You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
