I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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