i would punch a child for taco bell
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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