ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
