Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
