Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
nutella sex= disaster
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
