Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
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he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
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I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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