I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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